Eloise Bouton — Online Dating Coach
Online dating becomes simpler once you understand the rules. I work with men who are tired of endless swipes, stalled chats, and missed meetups. Together we build an attractive profile, learn confident, respectful communication, and move from match to first date without pressure—while honoring your boundaries and your partner’s.
Who I Work With
I support men returning to dating after a break or divorce, men who get stuck in messaging loops, and those ready to move from random encounters to calm, adult relationships. If you’re dating internationally, I’ll help you navigate cultural nuances and avoid misunderstandings or scams.
What You’ll Get
We start with your profile: curated photos, a short, natural bio aligned to your goal—serious relationship or light romance—and a few conversation hooks that highlight your strengths. Then we set a platform strategy: where to spend time, who you’re actually looking for, and how to filter matches so you save energy.
A big part is messaging. You’ll get ethical, simple first-message scripts, ways to keep the chat flowing, and a clear, low-pressure path to suggest a date. You’ll learn to spot red flags, recognize scam patterns, and set boundaries without drama. After each date, a short checklist helps you review what worked, what to improve, and the next step.
Coaching Approach
My background in consent, safety, and gender work taught me that good relationships are built on clarity and respect. Coaching is trauma-informed and judgment-free: we move in small, measurable steps—how many quality matches per week, how many chats turn into dates, what we iterate next. Communication beats “tricks”: we focus on honesty, precision, and mutual consent.
Formats
We begin with a short discovery call to clarify your goals and plan. Then we meet online weekly or bi-weekly, with practical homework between sessions. You can book a one-off profile audit (photo/bio edits plus first-message templates) or choose 30-day support with regular calls and chat feedback. If your online match has become a relationship, I’ll help you set healthy agreements and talk through expectations.
Mindset for Online Dating
Before tactics, we reset the mindset. Online dating isn’t a pass/fail exam; it’s a filtering process. Your job is to be discoverable, clear about your intentions, and warm in your communication—then let the wrong matches fall away. When you stop trying to convince and start qualifying, your tone becomes calmer, your messages get shorter and kinder, and the right people lean in.
Quick Wins Checklist (Do/Don’t & Micro-Goals)
Use this simple list to turn matches into dates faster—without pressure.
Do this:
- Refresh photos: one natural-light headshot, one relaxed half-body, one candid “in action.”
- Rewrite your bio to one short paragraph: who you are, what you enjoy, what you’re looking for.
- Set a weekly rhythm: 20 minutes, three times a week for swiping and messaging (no endless scrolling).
- Open with one observation + one easy question based on their profile.
Avoid this:
- Filters and group photos as your first image.
- Résumé-style bios or long lists of demands.
- Multi-paragraph openers or rapid-fire follow-ups.
- Vague plans like “let’s hang sometime.”
Invite like this:
- “I’m free Thu 6–7:30; there’s a quiet café near [area]. 45 minutes and we see if we want a round two?”
- If undecided: suggest a 10-minute video call first.
Safety & consent language:
- “If you’re comfortable, I’d like to hold your hand.”
- “Does this pace work for you? Tell me if you’d prefer to slow down.”
Micro-goals for the next 7–14 days:
- Swap 2 photos, test 3 new openers, send 1 clear invite per week.
- Track four ratios: views→matches, matches→chats, chats→dates, dates→second dates.
- After each date, note: one good moment, one tweak, and a yes/no/maybe for date two.
Results You Can Expect
Less randomness, more clarity. A steadier flow of conversations that actually turn into dates. Calm instead of anxiety, mutual respect instead of games. Online dating stops feeling like a lottery and becomes a process where you control the pace and quality of your interactions.
About Me
I’m an independent journalist, feminist, and coach in sexual and personal well-being. For years I’ve led support groups, lectures, and workshops on consent and healthy intimacy. I combine analytical thinking with hands-on tools and translate all of it into clear, practical steps for men in online dating.
